When You’re Ready to Get Your Estate Plan Done… and Your Spouse Isn’t

Families around Northern Kentucky and Cincinnati come to us all the time with one familiar problem: one spouse is ready to get their estate plan in place, and the other spouse wants nothing to do with it.

Sometimes it looks like eye-rolling.
Sometimes it’s “we don’t need that.”
Sometimes they agree to a meeting and then shut down the moment we start talking about real decisions.

If that’s you, you’re not alone. And you’re not stuck. You can still protect your family, keep the peace at home, and—more often than you’d think—bring your spouse along when they realize it’s not as scary as they assumed.

Below is what’s actually going on, and what works when one spouse is ready and the other is… well, not.

Why a Spouse Might Resist Planning

Estate planning is rarely about documents. It’s about emotion. Around here, we see four common reasons someone digs in their heels:

1. Avoiding anything that feels like “talking about death.”

A lot of good, normal people shut down the moment the conversation shifts to incapacity or dying. It’s not superstition—it's discomfort.

2. “It’s expensive” or “It’s for rich people.”

This one shows up constantly. Many spouses think estate planning is a “someday” luxury or a task reserved for people with complicated portfolios. They just don’t realize what happens without a plan.

3. Control concerns or general distrust of lawyers.

Some folks have had a bad experience. Others simply don’t want to feel boxed in or pressured.

4. Overwhelm meets procrastination.

When life is busy, anything that sounds like paperwork gets pushed aside.

Once you understand what’s underneath the resistance, it’s a lot easier to approach the conversation with empathy instead of frustration.

How to Talk About Planning Without It Turning Into an Argument

Pushing harder rarely moves the needle. Try this instead:

Start with shared values, not legal terms.

Skip the buzzwords and talk about what matters:
“Look, if something happened to either of us, I want it to be easy on you and the kids. That’s it.”

People respond to purpose, not paperwork.

Acknowledge their hesitation.

You don’t have to agree, but meeting them where they are goes a long way:
“I know this stuff feels heavy. I’m not trying to drag us into something. I just want us protected.”

Invite—don’t pressure.

Ask them to join you for a relaxed, educational Life & Legacy Planning® Session. No sales pitch. No pressure. Just clarity. Once spouses see it’s about guidance—not doom—they often settle right in.

Use real-life examples.

Around here, families get hit with probate surprises all the time. You don’t need horror stories, but it’s OK to say, “I don’t want us to be the family trying to figure all this out in a crisis.”

When the conversation is framed around protection and teamwork, people participate—even if they walked in skeptical.

What You Can Do Even If Your Spouse Still Says “No”

Here’s the part most people don’t realize:
You can still plan.

In Kentucky and Ohio, you’re fully able to create your own Life & Legacy Plan even if your spouse isn’t ready. That means:

• You protect your share of assets

• You choose who handles financial and medical decisions

• You choose guardians for your children

• You get organized so your spouse isn’t left sorting through chaos if something happens to you

And often?
Once one spouse finishes their plan, the other follows. Seeing the peace of mind it creates is usually the best persuasion there is.

Keep the door open.

Share what you’re learning. Ask small questions, not big ones. Sometimes all someone needs is a little familiarity before they’re ready.

Revisit the conversation as life changes.

New baby, new house, aging parents, a medical scare—life tends to nudge people toward planning. And at our firm, we check in with you every three years (or annually through our FamilyCare Program) because life doesn’t stand still.

You Can Protect Your Family—Even If Your Spouse Isn’t There Yet

You don’t have to wait for the “perfect moment.”
You don’t need unanimous household enthusiasm.
You just need to take the next right step to protect the people you love.

As your Personal Family Lawyer®, my job is to make sure your family never ends up in court or conflict because something was left undone. We’ll walk you through your options clearly, calmly, and with zero pressure.

If your spouse wants to join, wonderful.
If not, you can still get this done.

Ready to Take the First Step?

Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call with Freedom Law Services today in our Crestview Hills, KY office. Together, we’ll create a plan that protects your time, your money, and—most importantly—your family.

Call us at (859) 344-6742 or visit www.FreedomLawServices.com/call-today to book your discovery call today.

This article is a service of Freedom Law Services.
We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed, empowered decisions about life and death for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™. During the session, you will get more financially organized than ever before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this valuable session at no charge.

This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you seek legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained independently, separate from this educational material.